partybarackisinthehousetonight:
pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood
(via fuckyeahprongs)
I am an intelligent, eloquent, well-mannered young woman who just so happens to say “fuck” a lot.
(via fiftypercentillusion)
so I ended my english presentation with “these fatal flaws brought macbeth to his macdeath” and at least 60% of the class groaned
(via gotproperdead)
My brother saved this document and everytime he gets angry at our neighbours for being loud he prints it to their wireless printer and you can hear the wife shout “Why the fuck would you print this AGAIN?!” to her son.
(via squeeneytodd)
“Even when the console’s turned off, users can simply say “Xbox On” to power up — which means the new Kinect will be listening to you in your living room at all times.”
(Source: theverge.com, via jensenkrackalackles)
never let me play a game with a customizable character, because i will spend the entire time making the character, instead of playing the actual game
(via clairvoyantes)
if you take me on a date to a zoo, aquarium, or museum the chances of me having sex with you goes up by about 900%
(via gotproperdead)
(Source: harrysteyls, via malikdick)
and here we have harry potter literally standing on a pile of letters to try and catch one that is still in the air. there are clearly reasons why he doesn’t get sorted into ravenclaw
(via paintitredtofitrightin)
